First Week of School

So my first week as a teacher is complete and my first week as a teacher has already included many highs and lows.

For as long as I can remember I've dreamt about and planned my life out to be a teacher. With that aspiration, I've carried along the vision of what teaching would be like. I've thought about what kind of teacher I would like to be. I've set expectations for myself, for the role as a teacher and for the schools I work in. I think some of the low moments this week may have been a result of those expectations.

When choosing a career, you chose that pathway because it is something you enjoy, something you have a passion for, something you see positively. When I dreamt about being a teacher, I never dreamt about the hard days, the hard classes, or the types of students I would have. I dreamt about the success, the feeling I get helping children, especially in their light bulb moments. I've dreamt about changing the world, but never really the process of getting there.

In the span of two hours I had one student tell me she hates me, she'll never like me and she hopes I have a terrible weekend. In the next class, in which we both walked down the hall together to, at the end of that class she tells me I'm the best and nicest new teacher at the school. I don't know if she dislikes math and loves science and that's why she had the change of heart, but that moment affected me as a teacher.

The "I hate you" is something you're bound to hear as a teacher, but it wasn't something I thought I would hear in my first week of teaching. It was something I was very unprepared for. Something that caught me off guard. I simply responded with "I hope you have a great weekend, x." Maybe that response was the cause for her change of heart. I will never know. But it was definitely a big learning moment for me.

I am teaching lower level classes, similar to the applied levels in the Canadian high school system. The students in these classes cannot read, do not want to be in school, have specific behaviour or emotional needs, as well as special needs students. I have never felt so challenged in my life. Each day is new day, taking on a new approach to reach this audience of varying needs. Unfortunately, to add to that challenge, the school system is very limiting. Lessons were all planned in the summer, teachers are simply there to facilitate. However, differentiation was only taken into small account. Today I wandered about the "Pound Land" to see what I can use as manipulatives. We will see how pieces of Lego and the incorporation of math centres work with this population. Fingers crossed for when I see them on Tuesday!

Initially, I felt very defeated and exhausted. Thursday and Friday I barely enjoyed myself in something I love to do; something I have planned on doing my entire life. I was let down by myself, by my expectations, my students and the school. After a day, having some more time to think and reflecting on the week, I have taken note of the challenge. I have reached out to connections, researched and accessed resources for different approaches, techniques, etc. I have now regained hope and the competitive side of me has kicked in. These students may be my rival team that have won the game on my home field a couple of times, but I am not going to lose again. The game is on.

As for my life here, I am absolutely loving it. This week has been absolutely beautiful, 25 and sunny all week. I really enjoy the walking around, through all of the parks. My feet are only getting more blistered, and I have a toe infection in both of my big toes. It's pretty gross, but it's from breaking my toes about a month ago during soccer. The nails finally came off, and well the break was worse than I thought. Just to add the wonderful pages of the story of my health this year.

Tomorrow, my soccer/football skills have been challenged. I am going one on one with one of the male teachers from school who believes I don't know what I'm talking about (even after he quizzed me about the EPL and players) and don't know how to play soccer. He's in for a surprise, can't wait to show him, and just to put my boots back on, I've missed playing these last couple of weeks!