Networks

I've been starring at a blank page for a couple of weeks now, I've written 3 or 4 posts and instead of clicking publish, I click delete. I keep going over the events and the stories since my last update and have no idea where to begin or where I go from there.
I have had these first couple of sentences written for about three hours, write some more and delete it. I don't know if this writer's block is a side effect of exhaustion, or a feeling of helplessness that rests inside me, or a fact that writing something seems to make it more real.
As I've been attempting to write though, I've been talking to friends and family on various social media outlets. This got me thinking about networks and the benefit they can have.
When talking about networks, you typically jump to the ever popular social networking, or next in line, business networking, but what often gets forgotten about is the network of family.
As close as I am with my family, I've never really been a home body, and in this time away, I haven't really missed home. That is until the passed couple of weeks.
November 4th, my life changed when my Mum, my best friend, told me she had cancer. At that moment, life in England came to a stand still, but my Mum's support system grew. It was incredible to watch and be a part of a team that developed over night to support one cause. It's amazing how people rise to an occasion. This support system infused in my Mother a positive attitude and enabled her to go into the surgery strong and come out of the hospital in record time.
As hard as it was for me to be away from this, or have my Mum tell me she's been cooking all week and I wasn't there to help, seeing the support from everyone else, left me knowing that she was in good hands. This moment united my family as one army, and it became a family battle against the cancer.
Being so far away, definitely made me miss home, and miss my friends. For the first time I felt alone here. I had coworkers to talk to, but I didn't have that friend to take you out, or come over with some ice cream.
This had me thinking about my students as well. In the past couple of weeks I have developed bonds with some of my students that I am now their go to person, someone they confide in. Stories I am hearing from students are things I have never ever expected to hear as a teacher, or be trying to handle these specific situations. But it makes me wonder, my Mum has a support team of about 30 people behind her, these students have me. In order for them to be strong, I must remain strong, but I am currently feeling defeated, and completely helpless. I don't know where to go next.
The past couple of weeks for me have been sleepless, had their ups and downs, a little more drama than necessary, and a brain running like a hamster wheel, but in the end everything has worked out.
During my struggles at the beginning of the school year, a good friend sent me an image with a quote on it that read "Like photography, life develops from the negatives."
The storm is over, my Mum is an absolute trooper and on the mend, and my hard work at school has been rewarded. It's time to start looking at the pictures.
I had my second observation this week, and I could not be happier with how it went. After my first one I was prepared to walk out of this school and never look back. I've been working hard, and a set a goal of a mark I wanted and got that goal. For a keener like me, a grade of satisfactory may not seem very good, but, coming from an inadequate, and the conditions in this school, I could not be happier. Ultimately, I want a "good" grade, but it's one level at a time and I have 4 more observations to go for this year.
From this work though, I was praised with a note from agency, passing along a message from my Headmaster who is extremely impressed with my work!
There always is a bright light at the end of every dark tunnel, good things do come. My family is closer than ever, my Mum is doing incredible, and I am home in 4 weeks!
Next step, getting over this road bump in my student's case and figuring out the solution.

Scenery and Stories

There's a difference between travelling and being a tourist and I never really noticed until this past week. My previous journeys, I have travelled in groups and been with like minded people. I have been enveloped in the culture and lifestyle of the places I have gone. But what I was forgetting about those experiences is that my tours were private. I travelled with the group I was with.

I spent the first couple of days of my half term in Edinburgh being a tourist. I went on tours of specific attractions - Loch Lomond and Loch Ness. On these tours I ran into all kinds of people, all kinds of annoying people. Tourists are the most selfish, absorbed in their own world kind of people. 

A couple weeks ago I was having a conversation at work about young people and how they think they're so worldly and cultured. The conversation was started by a coworker saying that I am not like this, but I am someone that rightfully could be. I learned first hand exactly what was meant by this when a fellow tour mate kept talking about the places she has been and the places she wants to go. What she could not tell  you though was what she learned, what she had experienced, what she gained from travelling to those places. 

This particular person made me reflect on how I am on my journeys, am I a tourist or a traveller? 

I think the key difference between the two is the immersement into culture. As a tourist you are there to see the popular sites, take some photographs and on to the next site of popularity. As a traveller you are there to learn and to experience. You take in the culture, try the foods, hear the stories. From this, I can happily say, I consider myself to be a traveller.

When I came back from South Africa, I wrote a reflection piece about story telling. All of my students had stories, good stories, tragic stories, didn't matter what kind, they had stories. I wrote of the importance, particularly as a teacher to hear those stories. But, when I was writing that piece, I wasn't thinking of myself as a person, I was thinking just as a teacher, and I never stopped to think if I had my own stories.

My next few days in Scotland were spent meeting family first the first time. This was a wonderful experience and meant more to me than words can probably express. I got to hear all of the stories of my past. And not just wee ones about who family are, but stories full of history, bringing me back to my roots. Not only did I get to hear these stories, I got to meet the people, see photographs and see the sites. There was so much family history I had no idea about, so many things my roots were involved in developing and creating, things that are still around today. My new favourite candy is something called a Hawick Ball. Hawick is the town my family grew up in, where they still reside and where I visited for a couple of days. A lady by the name of Aggie Lamb created the recipe for these candies, and she is a Great Great Great Granny of mine. 

I had a teacher last year, after her grandmother had passed away, explain to us the wonderful experience she had hearing and recording her grandmother's stories. At that time I didn't fully grasp what she was talking about. Not until I heard the stories of various extensions of family. 

I started my half term meeting family for the first time, knowing very little, and ending it a couple days later feeling like I have known them for years, and can definitely call them family.

By spending time with my family, I was able to experience the traditional culture and food. I tried Haggis and Black Pudding, both of which are absolutely delicious, also drank a lot of Irn Bru. On top of the adventurous foods, I learned a whole new language, from each part of Scotland I visited. 

Overall, I had two absolute favourite parts. The first was stopping at Scott's View. Scott's view was a spot favourited by a famous writer, his thinking spot. As I stood there taking in the scenery, the incredible colours of the Autumn trees, snapping photos, my Uncle began to play the bagpipes. For the first time, I didn't want to take pictures of what I was seeing. Instead, all I could do was sit there and take in the moment, reflect on where I have been and where I am going. Listen to the sounds coming my from Uncle's bagpipes, as well as the sounds of nature. At this moment I was at peace. There was nothing but happiness brought to me, nothing but confirmation that you are in the right place and nothing but solitude. I am a lover of scenery, but of scenery with water in it. Although there lays a small river through Scott's view, this was a view of trees and mountains. A view I became completely enthralled with during my time in Scotland. 

This feeling of contentness also came about while driving through rolling hills and farmland of the borders. These roads go right through farmers field, are windy and full of sheep, however, they are absolutely stunning. For 99% of the time, it was just us and the sheep on the road, but what ever direction you looked in there was something to see, something to smile about. Mountains, water, sunshine, incredible views. At one point my Uncle said "Just wait until we get around this corner", we turned the corner and there was one of the most beautiful sites I have ever seen. I will never forget what I saw, or the breathtaking feeling it gave me.

From these two experiences, I have learned how to appreciate small things, and it really made me appreciate the view of my cottage, or downtown Oakville with the lake. You forget what you have in your backyard when it's always there, but when you see someone else's and as stunning as it may be, you remember what you get to look at everyday as well. 

This journey was concluded with an adventure on the train home, which for the first time in my life, I did not plan step by step by step, but went with the flow. I loved it. But, as I continued on this journey, and arrived in Stevenage, I grabbed a taxi home, but I still felt like I was travelling, I was just coming to my next stop. Even as I unlocked my front door, came up the stairs and unlocked my bedroom door, I still had a feeling of being on tour, it wasn't until I got into bed at night, I got the feeling of this place being my home.