Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone

With the impulse purchase of the flight to Venice, I didn't have much time to think about what I was going to be getting myself into, but the more people commented on me travelling alone, and the more time that passed before take off the more nervous I began to get. I kept postponing planning the trip, and delaying research, finding anything else to do instead. There were even a couple moments of "Maybe I just won't go." This was until last Wednesday, when it finally hit that I was leaving for Venice that night. The train ride to Stanstead Airport was when the excitement began to build up. Getting on the plane was fine, getting off the plane was fine. But the moment I stepped foot onto the bus I realized this was real, I was in Venice and there was no backing out now.
I looked around at the people on the bus around me, a threesome and two other couples. Everyone was travelling with someone and here I was on my own, in a place I don't speak the language, at 11:30pm. I kept going over the directions to my hotel in my head, which bus stop, where to get the water bus, which water bus, which stop and where to walk from there. I looked around at the scenery and using a combination of what I remember of French and Spanish trying to translate the words around me. However, because it nearing midnight, the pitch black, rainy skies blocked most of the scenery. This only allowed me to continue to think about what I was doing, and really at that moment, I had become fearful of my decision and just felt like crying.
I made it my bus stop and to the water bus safely. From there I had just kept staring at the cartoon map my hotel had sent me with the directions from the water bus stop to the hotel. It was time to get off the boat and this was my first experience of the narrow alleys - breaking all rules of travelling to a new place - walking down alleys, alone, at night time.
Thursday I still woke up with some hesitation as reality sunk in that I really was in Venice. This was the first time I truly was travelling on my own; wasn't going to meet family, wasn't a part of any group, this trip was just me and my camera.
I spent Thursday exploring. No real plan in mind other than to figure out the areas, check out the scenery and take some pictures. Walking around Venice is like being in a corn maze. Always walking through narrow alleys and picking any possible route - sometimes you end up a dead end that made lead into water, sometimes you walk in a circle and other times you end up where you were eventually hoping to get! This was a unique feeling in that sometimes it really was just you wondering around, all I could hear was the noise of my boots on the cobblestone and the abundance of seagulls and pigeons everywhere. It really was a freeing experience though and removed some of the fears and hesitations I had coming into the trip.
While I was walking through the maze and hunger struck, the uneasy feeling returned. I was going to have to talk to someone and barely anyone speaks English. I passed many delis and restaurants on my journey, looked at menus, then walked away, would stand and look at the place and then walk away again. I had completely reverted back 10 years ago to shy me. Luckily, I was able to come across a sandwich shop that had them displayed and all I had to do was point.
As I made my way up to the top of Campinale Tower, the temperatures began to drop. Campinale Tower gives you a birds' eye view of Venice, showing the different canals, the whole island and surrounding islands. Beautiful view, but absolutely freezing. By the time I had reached the bottom of the tower a blizzard hit Venice. Standing in St. Mark's Square, it was exciting to see everyone's reaction to snow - for most of them, this must have been their first experience to it. This is also when I bought a museum pass and headed for the indoors.
Walking through St. Mark's Church is where you really get a sense of how much Venice is actually sinking. The floor is so wavy, with divots everywhere. Much like how driveways sink, the stunning tile floor is as well.
Friday was spent travelling to two other islands; Murano and Burano. Murano is famous for glass blowing and it's beautiful glass sculptures. The island is filled with little shops, with all sorts of things made from glass. Some of the sculptures were absolutely stunning, unfortunately you couldn't take pictures of them. I also watched a 10 minute glass blowing demonstration where in 10 minutes, the man had made a beautiful vase and horse sculpture. He then threw both objects into a bucket and broke them. The horse sculpture took about 2 minutes to make, inside the show room they had the same one for 350 euros.
The next stop was Burano - one of the fastest sinking islands. What is unique about this island, is that to distinguish property lines the home owners paint their houses bright colours. It reminded me much of Bo Kaap in Cape Town. The houses were hot pink, orange, lime green, purple. It was incredible. My favourite moment was walking through these little alleys, just down a normal street, you turned a corner, came out of the alley and met with a canal and some of the really bright houses. You just had to stand there for a minute and take in the view. That moment was absolutely breathtaking. It was also in that moment where the excitement for what I was doing and crossing another place off the To Go list settled in. Burano is also the island of handmade lace. As it is not a peak tourist time in Venice, a lot of things were still closed. This gave Burano a very ghost town like feel to it. Most shops and restaurants were closed and a lot of residents have moved off of the island. The only shops open were the lace shops. I fell in love with a dress in one of the shops, but wasn't prepared to pay the 260 euros for it (that was more than my trip costed!)
By the time I got back to Venice, it was dinner time and with now feeling at ease, I was prepared for a proper sit down meal. As I was wandering to find somewhere to eat I came across a mass of photographers lined across a bridge. There was nothing in particular that their cameras were aimed up, but with the amount of tripods set up, I knew something had to be coming. I set post with these photographers, waited a few minutes to find out it was rush hour in Venice. The sun was setting, the "street lights" were coming on, and the boats were all travelling down the Grand Canal. Seems like a much better commute than sitting in the traffic on the 403! This was such a cool moment for me. I later bumped into the photographers again, when they noticed my camera - this stuck up conversation. They're a group of professionals travelling the world for the year. Absolutely envious of their life. A couple of them showed me their pictures and I took them through a couple of mine. It was crazy to see how we could shoot the same thing and how different all the pictures could look.
Saturday I spent the morning walking around areas I hadn't been yet. I was able to find more local spots and came across a farmer's market with all fresh fruits and vegetables and some small local, non touristy shops. I also ate the best pizza I've ever had! Which oddly enough, does not come sliced, but served with a fork and steak knife. After the pizza, with the little bit of sun shining, I hopped on the water bus and went once more around the island. Sat out on the front, just snapping away on my camera.
Venice was an incredible trip and having gone and made it back I can't even believe I had reservations or thoughts of not going. However, I am glad I had those feelings. The past couple years have been a lot of progress and moving forward, breaking out of that shell, it was in a unique sort of way kind of nice to know that there are still barriers to break down, there are still personal challenges to face. A friend sent me a card a couple years ago and on it, it said "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." Since the day that card has arrived, I have tried to follow that saying. Alleviating a lot of the fears I once had, but I also started to think because I had so many fears; dogs, animals, heights, being shy, just to name a few that fear was a bad thing. Having that fear of travelling on my own, to Venice, made the trip that much more exciting over coming that fear and because of that will now become a trip I hold onto forever.

You can find my pictures of my trip by clicking here for Flickr or here for Facebook.

One Day

After a long week, full of ups and downs, good and bad moods, I had a weekend just to myself. No travel, no meeting friends in London, just a chance to unwind. My weekend was filled with movies, junk food and photo books.
Photo books; if anyone is struggling for a gift for anyone, my Mum bought me gift certificates for these for Christmas. They are amazing! Turning your photos into hard copy books, such a great keep sake. I have ordered one book and half way through making the second. Two books of my time in South Africa. The first book of animals and landscapes, the second of people and faces. I am extremely excited for the faces edition. But, this gave me a wonderful opportunity to slowly go back through the pictures, relive the memories, and reflect on the emotions. Even though I took the pictures, I think my South Africa collection is one of my best. This could be though because of the emotions attached to each picture.
Although looking back was enjoyable, a look to the future was sparked by a certain movie. Although it appeared under the romantic comedy category, it was romantic, but definitely not a comedy, more on the sad side. But, good nonetheless. In this movie, a girl, Em, played by Anne Hathaway, meets, somehow, either in person or via phone, her best friend Dexter (Jim Sturgess) on the same day every year. July 15th.
Another fantastic present from my Mum was a 5 year journal. Everyday it asks a question, a different question. But on that day, for the next 5 years, you will always answer the same question.
As the lives changed of Em and Dexter, I began to think about the journal, my life over the next 5 years. The growth that has happened in the last couple of years, and then comparing that having 5 years of my life documents in a little brown book.
Before bed each day I answer the question. It has become one of my favourite parts of the day. Some of the questions are quite easy, like what did you have for lunch today? Whereas, some of them are quite thought provoking. Looking at my answers from the beginning of January, they tend to be short, not much thought put into them. Now that my trust in the book has been developed, I have opened up.
One of the questions last week was "What do you want to forget?" Immediately, bad memories start rushing to your head. Do I wish to forget that moment, or this person, the heart break or the knee injury? You go through it all. But when it comes down to putting pen on paper, it's almost impossible. Taking a sneak peek at the question for the following day "Who do you want to be?" immediately made the forgetting question that much easier to answer.
Without the madness of the on and off roller coaster, without injuring my knee, without friends passing away, or loved ones being ill, who would I be. Going through struggles, making mistakes and coming out on the positive end of the spectrum is what makes us stronger. An athlete's character isn't determined by how well they win, but by how well they lose and what they do next time.
As I continue to fill out this little book, whether it be the simple questions or challenging questions, I continue to learn and I continue to reflect.
This journal was given to me with such great timing, as I adjust and become more comfortable with my journey in England, for the next year and a half, and then onto another one, who knows where. But when I'm finished this journal, I'll be 28 (terrifying to think about), but exciting to think of everything that will be in this book.
Much as Em and Dexter revisited their lives on the same day each year, embracing the changes, I am excited.
I had a mentor meeting today and we were comparing 4 weeks into last term and 4 weeks into this term and the complete polar opposites of emotions and attitude that I have. Last term, I was ready to pack my bags. This term, I love it. Yes, there are some classes I wish the bell would ring sooner, but there are those that I really do enjoy. I am currently in an internal debate of whether to stay at this school or to find a new one next year. It is not a hidden fact at my indecisiveness with big decisions, so take the answer I give you each day as it comes.
I will be in Venice in 2 and a half weeks and have that all planned out. Looking at an Emirates Stadium tour for the half term week as well. I may also be officially joining the PE team and picking up 4 hours of classes that have now been deemed "Football Wednesdays." My Contiki Tour books have also just arrived today to start putting my summer plans together. Definitely plenty of good things to come and the time is flying by here!
Although contact with home has been way more this week, I've been thinking of you all a lot. I love you all and miss you dearly. Thanks for supporting my adventure through reading my blog and sending all you wonderful words. My Ontario mug sits on my desk (full of pens and pencils since I don't like tea or coffee), but you are all with me everyday. Much love, Shelbs.